Simpsons: See My Vest

A season six episode of the Simpsons from 1995, Two Dozen and One Greyhounds, has a plot that is heavily inspired by the Disney film One Hundred and One Dalmations, where Mr. Burns intends to steal twenty five greyhound puppies for a tuxedo. As if his animal creulty beliefs weren't strong enough, he has a whole song about how he turns creatures into clothes, to the music of Beauty and the Beast's Be Our Guest. What if we asked Abe Simpson what he heard if he listened to the song?

Original lyrics	Translated lyrics
Some men hunt for sport,	We have to play with the men
Others hunt for food,	Other food wolves
The only thing I'm hunting for,	All I'm looking for,
Is an outfit that looks good...	There is a dress that looks good ...
See my vest, see my vest,	Look at my vest, look at my west,
Made from real gorilla chest,	Made by the actual gorilla diet,
Feel this sweater, there's no better,	Feel this sweater, it's not better
Than authentic Irish setter.	To receive a setter forth of Ireland in regard to things.
See this hat, 'twas my cat,	See the hat, "my cat"
My evening wear - vampire bat,	My evening dress - vampire bat,
These white slippers are albino	These white shoes are albino.
African endangered rhino.	African witches are threatened with extinction.
Grizzly bear underwear,	Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtles' necks, I've got my share,	Turtle neck, I'm on my side,
Beret of poodle, on my noodle	Beer beer, my noodles
It shall rest,	He will rest,
Try my red robin suit,	Robin, because the cause of that was red;
It comes one breast or two,	One or two breasts come
See my vest, see my vest,	Check out the vest, look at the vest,
See my vest.	Vest check out
Like my loafers? Former gophers -	Like my pumpkin? Old Secret -
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,	That's the skin of my drivers,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo	A tuxedo made of greyhound fur.
Would be best,	But if that was the best thing,
So let's prepare these dogs,	Let us go, then, sing their preparations;
(Kill two for matching clogs,)	(Kill two by matching wooden shoes)
See my vest, see my vest,	Look at my vest, look at my west,
see my vest	my video
Like my loafers? Former gophers -	Loafers like me? Former Gophers -
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,	This driver was my skin,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo	But bad fur
Would be best,	It would be better
So let's prepare these dogs,	So we prepare these dogs,
(Kill two for matching clogs,)	(Killing two Turks);
See my vest, see my vest,	See, see it in her arms
oh please won't you see my vest	Oh, please, do not see my jacket

Nursery Rhymes

This is the first, and so far only, request. The translated material? The nursery rhymes you likely grew up hearing.

First, we enter a puppet show that goes into the origin story.

Original line	Translated line
Baa, baa, black sheep,	Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?	Are you any wool?
Yes, sir, yes, sir,	Yes, Lord,
Three bags full;	Three bags full.
One for the master,	One of the masters,
And one for the dame,	And to make a lady,
And one for the little boy	And for a boy
Who lives down the lane	Who is lying

You'd need to be a lunatic to see the sense of this diddle diddle.

Original line	Translated line
Hey Diddle Diddle,	Heideby Dilong,
The cat and the fiddle,	Take a fish,
The cow jumped over the moon.	The cow was flying in a month.
The little dog laughed,	Leave the little dog alone,
To see such sport,	To see this,
And the dish ran away with the spoon	Its arrow was springs of water

Hungarian currency is a victim in this haiku.

Original line	Translated line
Jack and Jill	Jack and Jill
Went up the hill	Went up the hill.
To fetch a pail of water	Remove water
Jack fell down	Jack ready
And broke his crown,	However, Korona damage,
And Jill came tumbling after.	Jill was.

Where the finances are based on animal activity.

Original line	Translated line
Old MacDonald had a farm	It was the old McDonald economy
E-I-E-I-O	And NIA-e-o-ha
And on this farm he had a cow	And the farm was a cow
E-I-E-I-O	And NIA-e-o-ha
With a moo-moo here	This is Moo-Moo
And a moo-moo there	And there's a zoo
Here a moo, there a moo	Here zoo, it's Moo
Everywhere a moo-moo	monkeys everywhere
Old MacDonald had a farm	It was the old McDonald economy
E-I-E-I-O	And NIA-e-o-ha

I'm open to further requests, so if you have any please put them in the comments section below.

Horoscope: January 8th

You see them in the newspaper, the TV guide and those tabloids that always seem to occupy the waiting area of take outs and the waiting room for the doctor or dentist. You may even have a quick skim if you're not in a rush. Horoscopes are vague enough at the best of times, but what if the position of the planets and secrets of the stars were viewed through Google Translate? Astonishingly it makes more sense than you'd expect...

Capricorn
December 22 - January 21
Are you tired? Did you run too much in the middle of the night? It's time to live again. Venus urges you to meditate, reflect on or change the way that works best for you.

Aquarius
January 21 - February 19
It's time to connect with the storm when connecting people from different places of life, online and personal. Who knows where it will bring a different relationship?

Pisces
February 20 - March 20
It's time to beautify your work or learn more space by things like flowers that are varied, stimulating music or skin color. If your natural pleasure is satisfied, your product will grow.

AriesMarch 21 - April 20
Venus moved to an adventure zone until February 3. It's a good time to organize the next holiday. We hope a relaxed and beautiful environment with a pleasant environment and good food.

Taurus
April 21 - May 21
Bulls can be very mild. Venus is now a burned and symbolic symbol of Sagittarius until February 3. It can make you feel stronger and stronger than usual.

Gemini
From May 22 to June 21
Desperate connections are growing, because Venus's peaceful planet will visit your partner zone on February 3. To be overly diplomatic if you have family and friends problems.

Cancer
From June 22 to July 23
Under the joy of the Venus planet, the time is more than you love. You also make good food, do fine crafts, or join your friends.

Leo
July 24 - August 23
Friendship grows, while Venus attracts and attracts other interests. So good is your friend today.

Virgo
August 24 - September 23
Do you have any problems with family members? Negotiations on the planet Venus encourage you to store the olive-leaf branch, if you are willing and compromised.

Libra
September 24 - October 23
Protector of planet Venus encourages you to help others in the local community. Relationship with your neighbor or neighbor should also improve, as long as you are willing to listen.

Scorpio
October 24 - November 23
Do you worry about money problems? During the next few weeks, Venus will help improve the financial situation. But you will find it if you choose more than you are saved!

Sagittarius
November 23, 22nd of December
Venus is a sign of today, which lasts until February 3. It will add to your beauty and overcome your beliefs. But it also adds to your desire to be luxurious and pleasing.

Film: Airplane (1980)

What’s Google Translate? It’s a polylingual word mangler, but that’s not important right now.

In 1980 a film written by David Zucker, Jerry Zucker and Jim Abrahams wrote and directed Airplane! (titled Flying High! in Australia and New Zealand), a film that takes the plot of the film Zero Hour!, and twists it to become a parody of the disaster film genre. It’s a very well known film because of its non-stop jokes and very quotable lines. Let’s take some and turn them into something even Johnny would stop and pause to look at.

Original quote	Translated quote
It was a rough place - the seediest dive on the wharf. Populated with every reject and cutthroat from Bombay to Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit.	It was a difficult place - worst management of a mule. With each marriage and brave in Bombay Calcutta. It's worse than Detroit.
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.	I chose the wrong week to quit smoking.
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.	I'm serious And Simon doesn't speak.
Shana, they bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say, let 'em crash!	Small, so that train tickets have been purchased last. I knew I'd go to them. I refuse it, let's say!
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking. We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused. This is due to periodic air pockets we encountered. There's no reason to become alarmed and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?	Mothers and brothers, this is your authority. We are grateful for the inconvenience that created a building process. This is due to the plane based. There is no reason to worry about us and we hope you enjoy the rest of the plane. On the way, is there any person on the plane that is known to fly on the plane?

TV: My name is Victoria Winters

In 1966 ABC aired the premiere episode of Dark Shadows, a gothic soap opera that became well known by taking the gothic atmosphere, supernatural happenings and literature and cinema of the time and mixing it with the typical soap opera dysfunction. However it started out a lot differently, initially following a newly employed governess and her search for answers. As Vicki says:

"My name is Victoria Winters. My journey is beginning, a journey that I hope will open the doors of life to me and link my past with my future, a journey that will bring me to a strange and dark place, to the edge of the sea, high atop Widows' Hill, a house called Collinwood, a world I've never known, with people I've never met, people who tonight are still only shadows in my mind, but who will soon fill the days and nights of my tomorrows."

Now the very first lines ever spoken on the show will face a force that even the Dark Lord trembles in fear of, Google Translate...

Victoria my name winter. My journey is expected, that will open up the doors of life to me and get in touch with my future trip will give me an amazing place and darkness will take my time, the sea, the hills, the house A world that is called Collinwood I started in on the edge of ever, a travel people I have never met, but people are not the only time in their mental shadow, but some days, and my days will be tomorrow. For

Yeah, the run on sentence didn't help the weirdness.

Song: Zero by Imagine Dragons

The band Imagine Dragons released the song Zero as the second single for their 2018 album Origins. It was also used in the promotion for the film Ralph Breaks the Internet, appearing in one of the trailers and the end credits.

Original Lyrics	Translated lyrics
I find it hard to say the things I want to say the most	I find it hard to say that I want to say that that matters most
Find a little bit of steady as I get close	It is fixed, the things will come a little closer
Find a balance in the middle of the chaos	Find a balance in the midst of chaos
Send me low, send me high, send me never demigod	Today I will never be able to send a low virgin
I remember walking in the cold of November	Remember to be cooled in November
Hoping that I make it to the end of December	Hope for the end of December
27 years and the end of my mind	My last 27 years
But holding to the thought of another time	But only to keep the thought
But looking to the ways at the ones before me	And even then, does not it have to see the way?
Looking for the path of the young and lonely	You were the only one looking for a young man and was doing a trip
I don't want to hear about what to do	Do not listen to anybody
I don’t want to do it just to do it for you	We want to do what you do
Hello, hello	Hi Hi
Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero	He said: Truly, I say to you that it is zero
Let me show you what it's like to always feel, feel	I feel that I am always with me, and I will show it to you who he looks like:
Like I’m empty and there's nothing really real, real	I am empty and nothing is real, true
I'm looking for a way out	After that?
Hello, hello	Hello Hello
Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero	And he said: I tell you that it is not
Let me show you what it's like to never feel, feel	Let me show you how you feel, feel
Like I'm good enough for anything that's real, real	I want to see something that is very true
I'm looking for a way out	Then me?
I find it hard to tell you how I want to run away	It's hard to say they want to talk
I understand it always makes you feel a certain way	Let me think about it, the ability to experience
I find a balance in the middle of the chaos	I can not find in the middle of the balance
Send me up, send me down, send me never demigod	Let me go away, they have sent me or God
I remember walkin’ in the heat of the summer	And remember Walkin 'heat in the summer
Wide-eyed one with a mind full of wonder	Googly eyes, with a trance
27 years and I’ve nothing to show	Nothing will show 27 years
Falling from the doves to the dark of the crow	Dark pigeons with raven fall
Looking to the ways of the ones before me	Call now in front of your eyes
Looking for the path of the young and lonely	You are looking for young people and travel alone
I don't want to hear about what to do, no	What they want to listen to can not hurt,
I don’t want to do it just to do it for you	We want you
Hello, hello	Hello Hello
Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero	He said: Truly, I say to you that it is zero
Let me show you what it's like to always feel, feel	I feel it, I'll show you who he is like me, and should at all times, feel,
Like I'm empty and there’s nothing really real, real	I am empty and nothing like reality, real
I'm looking for a way out	Then me?
Hello, hello	Hi Hi
Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero	And he said: I tell you that it is not
Let me show you what it's like to never feel, feel	I feel you have to pretend;
Like I'm good enough for anything that's real, real	I want to see something that is absolutely real
I'm looking for a way out	After that?
Let me tell you 'bout it, well let me tell you 'bout it	I have a problem that you say you want to fight
Maybe you're the same as me	Maybe you are like me
Let me tell you 'bout it, well let me tell you 'bout it	I have a problem that you say you want to fight
They say the truth will set you free	They tell you the truth
Hello, hello	Hello Hello
Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero	He said: Truly, I say to you that it is zero
Let me show you what it's like to always feel, feel	I feel it, I will show you who is like me and should always feel,
Like I'm empty and there's nothing really real, real	I am empty and nothing is real, true
I'm looking for a way out	Then me?
Hello, hello	Hi Hi
Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero	He said: Truly, I say to you that it is zero
Let me show you what it's like to never feel, feel	Let me show you how you feel, feel
Like I'm good enough for anything that's real, real	I want to see something that is absolutely real
I'm looking for a way out	After that? ......

Here's the official music video if you need to consult on the music

Introduction

Hi everybody,

This blog will be all about taking advantage of free web translation services, namely Google Translate. The premise is simple, put some text, being it song lyrics, quotes, lines of dialogue, ad slogans etc, put it in Google Translate, run the text through a bunch of languages and back into english, and see what's come out. That's pretty much it. No big lofty goals, just something to make you smile if you're in the mood or having a rough day.

I'm aiming to publish new translations Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, an hoping to stockpile enough material to keep this going for a while.

For requests, please note that I will only be translating what is legally free and available to the public, and will not translate any content like book passages or particularly spoilerific or plot heavy material relating to narratives like books, TV show and movies. Classic material like Shakespeare is fair game though, and it's been around long enough that statute of limitations on spoilers ran out years and years ago. Any audiovisual material will be linked to on the post, and if limited excerpts are all there is, links to where the material can be purchased will be provided.